You said you needed a little time from my mistakes. It’s funny how you used that little time to have me replaced.
hellos loveliest:) i dont know where should i start blogging from.. okays lets talk abt wednesday then. after school went home and change and went out. mummy brought me to see cousin in rtc. guess he's doing great in there. after that went to jp meet melissa, yuxin, mandi. went to starbucks to study. bought choco chip cream. studied ss chap 2 and chinese. wasted half of the time taking pictures. soon, binhuang came. zhiwei came too. then mandi went off. soon after, melissa and zhiwei went off. left me, yuxin and binhuang. studied and talk a little more, then went to eat at food court. stomach very screwed. keep dun let me eat. no appetite like shit. 246 and homed at arnd 10+pm. super super tired for school already. lol, thursday sore throat like crazy duno why also. after school went home and seahhui came over to tuition me. wth i hope it really helps. if not my maths also gg.com. lol. after seahhui went off me went to meet kahmeng and junwei at mac to study. freezing cold 4 hours at mac, i forgot to bring my jacket. lolz. studied ss chap 3. completed it. so happy for myself. memorised the whole zhao qu for mother tounge. feels like so satisfying. lol but hahaha. friday, which is today. woke up at 5am to get ready and studied a little. went to school and major exam starts. paper 1. okok luh, i hope i dun li ti and fail it. seriously. lol, left last 15 minutes, scribbled 2 pages of compo abt him. i'm gna post it below later. read it. recess, then after that studied a little and paper 2 comes. okok also la, omg i duno why kahmeng says its easy. i think im gna get border line or sth. aiya anyway, 2 down, 9 more to go! mandi, melissa and yuxin went to slack w a bunch of pple alrdy. lazy to go. see him online see untill dun want go. joking. slept a little just now. woke up cos i keep feel like vomitting. screwed. i hope its not my stomach but my sore throat please. 11th may, NUH! :) oh yes, koo chee kiong's last day's gone already. made a card for him, bye mr koo. ): last 9 papers start next week. jiayou all! :) and you, you, you! try harder in pulling people down with your words. talking is cheap, action speaks louder than words. mind you! study harder please. hahaha! cg and service tmr! so much love! missed e464. guess things really changed alot. disappointed. super.
The last 15minutes of my paper tday, i wrote this.
Dear xxx,
you irresposible bustard, why leave me alone to go through all this shit? why werent you here to takecare of me when things were going wrong? i miss you. why did you leave me here with all this memories? can’t we go back to how it was a few months back? are you not happy? i’m sorry if i didn’t care for you much, i’m sorry if i have to disappoint you time over time, i’m sorry if i wasn’t good enough for you. i just wanted to be happy like you wanted to be. i love you, can’t you see it? you stupid pig, make me wait for you all the time when you were sleeping. you silly pig, why do so much for me when you didn’t even wanted to care? you stupid idiot, why accept my calls and talk to me all night long when you already planned to go? why make me meet you? you tormented me, the happy memories tormented me. how badly i wish i could talk to you now. what happened? why wouldn’t you let me know about those things that werent right? why? i miss how you used to always make my day. those days are really happy ain’t they? when you told me that you missed me, what were you thinking? all the bull shit you put me through, i’m all left alone. i thought i had you, i was wrong. hoping you’d come back to bring my heartache back, i was wrong. no matter how much i tell myself not to bother about you, in the end, i still care. i’m really afraid to one day face the girl you’re gna be in love with. you always look as if you’re having fun without me. you look so happy. that’s what keeps me going. please, do well in the things that you do, please take care of yourself when i’m not here to takecare of you. i love you, thats all that you need to remember. thanks for teaching me things i’ll never learn in lessons. thanks for bringing such wonderful times in my life. thanks for the smiles you plastered onto my face though it’s gone. it was the happiest time of my life. i really miss who you used to be and who we was. i want time to turn back. but it won’t already.
I miss you,
xxx, the girl that was once so strong.
