I like you. i really do. but im scared.
okay, im back. how's my bangs? guess i really look weird now.. many people said so. but thanks to those some people that said it looks nice! :D hehe, cos i really helped. luv you guys alright! i guess today was rather emo for me. i'll explain why later. well, yesterday was monday. school began. hate the feeling waking up at 530am every single morning. met zhiwei at s11, waited for melissa and walked to school tgt. crap much. school was normal ytd. except it was monday, there was ms seeto's lesson. have to bun my hair up or else kena her nag like i robbed her. O: after school went home imediately, changed and bathed then went down to meet melissa and yuxin. bus-ed to 504 for our hair cut. but only me and yuxin cut. my bangs.. haha, i think it looks okay to me. except for some people. awwww, nvm. :) had our cheese fries at 504 and the joke of the day was by me. can shop can shop + supermarket. hahas! inside joke luh, wna know ask me. hehes. bus-ed back to boonlay. met ricco and alvin. slack arnd, my can keep kena fire by alvin. took pictures then they went to find some other people. yuxin came over to my place. watched hai pai tian xin ep 11. waiting for ep 12 right now. hahas, was touching yesterday. i thought of him again. yes, rabbit. so idiot of me. wanting to break down all over again. its always like that this few days. he's making me tear too much. im not really me this few days. i need help. sigh. school tday, met zhiwei and melissa at s11 and bus-ed to schl tgt. lessons as normal, with my bangs in school. leon er zi was being rather cute tday :) he msged me during maths lesson that my bangs are cute. hahaha! then he made me laughed the whole day tday. during english lesson he came to sat beside me cos pamela wasn't around. oh yea, pamela's my sitting partner now. happy or what, ms seeto's sitting arrangement. :) so got test during eng, have to split tables. so leon and i splitted. then while doing, he msged me again. and he's msg this time was ''so eff-ing difficult to do sia'' then i went LOL... okies, then he asked me abt a question. i wanted to reply ''i put later''. then i typed till half accidentally pressed sent, so became ''i pu''. i looked at him while he reads that message. he looked and me and he when ''eh mi you act cute leh pu'' lol! super funny ehs.! hahaha! and he went arnd telling pple im his stead. for those that believed him, funny ah you! :) hahaha! after school went home immediately, ate, prepared and quarreled with mummy. that made me want to tear too. cos i thought abt how he used to be there for me, to tell me to stay strong and not to cry. now he's gone... he don't need me like he used to do already. i wanted to break down so badly. thinking why did you avoid me. im sorry for being so irritating but i hope you understand its difficult to let go. really. sigh. bus-ed down to taman cc. met zhiwei, junwei, melissa and yuxin. playing poker there. after awhile went down to balled. it was still raining, never the less i balled for a few hours there under the rain. felt soooo good. i don't know why. i just really do miss you that i can't stop torturing myself to get you out of my brains, heart, mind. i know its stupid. but i really feeling so tong ku i can die. i want to kill myself and just die. sigh i miss you... then after that poker agn. this time gary was arnd alrdy. had fun though, thanks you guys for the day. thanks for being there even though i wasn't me. thanks for hearing to my very irritating troubles though i know its annoying. thanks for telling me everything's gna be okay, everything's gna be better even if he isn't arnd. i can't rely on him forever. i want to rely on God alone. He's more than enough for me, reena stop thinking. its tormenting me. *prays that i let go soon*
