I realise all i want is just you to be there when i fall.
well i guess now i know how tough life is without him, its been 5 months. i wasted 5 months of my life trying so hard to let go of him yet i can't. you made me cried alot this 5 months. i wasted 5 months of my life trying to make him care, trying to talk to him yet most of the times i get no replies, i wasted 5 months of my life waiting, waiting for you to text me again, yet you never once did. waiting for you to tell me everything's gna be okay, i'm waiting for nothing actually. how stupid am i, to wait for something i guess will never happen in my life. you're sucha waste of time. dun understand what were those sweet memories for, to tear me down? to make me fall in love with you then you walk away? to ruin my life? well you suceeded boy, you suceeded. thanks for those days, people says it takes time to let go of you to forget you. but how long can i stay this strong? i've been trying so hard not to break down but i always fail. do you know when you walk away, and i woke up without your message, tears slowly fall from my eyes every morning? i had enough, im getting so tired. i'm finally breaking down. all those things came rushing back into my mind, all those things we did altogether.
and i've finally decided. when my heart breaks for you, i realise it breaks many people hearts. i really wna let you go. i've deleted half of the messages from you that i saved. but i've no courage to delete the rest. i'm gna break my record of 8 days not talking to you, i know i will and i can. but deep down in my heart its breaking. i dont know how i only know its gna be really tough and tiring, i dun care how i dun care how many times im gna break down but i knw my first love will always wipe my tears away. bye sweetest one, thanks for all those days so sweet together. thanks for all your bull shit and bull craps. thanks for telling me you missed me, thanks for caring, thanks for the late night calls, thanks for the smiles. thanks for saying things you dun mean to. now im telling you, dun treat a girl like this. dun treat me like this anymore. i dun even know if im gna think of you agn after i post this, but i dun really care anymore. im thinking of you every single day. you're always on my head and im getting used to all the pain. you know sometimes i really feel like just stabbing myself with a knife, die and just forget everything? i shouldn't have allowed you to get into me in the first place. i miss you. breaking down is so tiring, to cry and cry to know the tears will never end. sigh. if i said i could let you go, i'd be lying.
you told me if i'd to cry, i wouldnt be crying alone, cos you'll be here. LIAR.
this sweet darling here told me that she's unhappy bcos he's treating me like this and torturing me like shit. and she told me that her heart is aching for me. am so touched by this lady and i promise i love her. promise you that i'll try my best to let go of him no matter what i do. maybe one day courage will come and allow me to delete his number too. i'll be back to my happy self once again. the one that never fails to cheer others up instead of wanting others to cheer me up. i'll be the one that'd hug others loooong long and tell them everything's gna be okay agn. i'll be back, becos no matter how dark the night is, the sun will still rise. i duno when is everything gna stop and i duno when will i ever let him go but thank god he sent me my greatest gift on earth. at least they don't ignore my messages like he always does...
Melissa, vivian, yuxin, mandi, seahhui, kimberley, kahmeng, yueze, shalynne, e464 & e369.
Sometimes i really miss you yet i duno what to do,
i feel like just lying down and cry.
goodbye..
